Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
