Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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