Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
