They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
