If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
