I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
