i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
