When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
