is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
