there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
