Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
