HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
did i just pee glitter
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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