Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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