cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
