Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
