I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
