How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
