God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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