i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
