Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
