"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
