Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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