also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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