we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Randomize
