My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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