Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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