Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
