He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
