This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
