Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
