Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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