The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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