Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
