If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
