JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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