Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just gargled with NyQuil
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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