Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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