I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Ketchup is God's man juice
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
