i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
