Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
