3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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