no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
