Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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