if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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