Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
