Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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