Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
