The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
