lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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