hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Hippo gnu deer
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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