I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
